A beautiful Journey (G4G )

I get the opportunity to empower and uplift other ladies. Am just new at this but am doing it AFRAID.

This was the first lesson I learnt as a mentee. Whatever your afraid of, do it anyway. Am afraid of speaking in crowds, am afraid of failure, but I will do this anyway.

The journey has been so amazing, seeing the ladies in person was honest to goodness. I was excited to see the commitment these young ladies have upon their paths in life.

Today I was privileged to hear the untold stories that moved me from both Mentees and mentors. Lives have changed for many and I myself. The topics were clearly grasped and am hoping to do this again for the most of my time as long as I live.

I congratulate all the mentees and mentors upon this journey and I encourage all those interested to join your always welcome. Use the link below, https://linktr.ee/projectg4guganda.

TROUBLED

Not in the present lately
Out of this world I feel
Society takes a tail on every decision I make
I question every step and everyone

A little break I ask myself to take
A little air I crave to breathe
A drive I tell myself to take
A good meal I deserve

All I do is lay in bed
Trying to escape from reality
Not in the present or giving chance to it
Wondering when am saving myself

SELF LOVE IN FEBRUARY

It is true and stated that February is a month of love, it’s not only dedicated to the sweethearts but it’s also a month of self-love and self-care, fostering relationships with family and friends. Am here to give the ladies and gentlemen who had not only lost hope but were also taught to only give away the love.

Charles Bukowski once said, “If you have the ability to love, love yourself first. February (love) I choose me that’s my motto this month. I choose to nourish all my beloved ones with love but starting with myself. It’s not easy being positive all the time. Some days you feel you just can’t do it anymore. There is always so much going on in ourselves that it is easy to forget about “me.” In most cases its easy to think about “them” or even put “them” first. How about “me?”

We were raised in the world where putting others first was seen as love but little did I know it was eating me up like a cancer. I was left drained and bitter. We were taught to work hard, make money, get married and have children but we didn’t learnt how to keep ourselves feeling fuelled for that journey.

I started my self-love journey end of 2019 with self-help books and in my mentorship program I was taught that self-love and self-care did not mean selfish, to fall in love with yourself first is the secret to happiness.
Furthermore keeping notes of the times that you feel confident, the people that make you smile and laugh until your stomach hurts, and the moments that were incredibly challenging but you’re thankful for, as those moments, no matter how hard they were, they led you to the person you are today.

For those who have experienced the power of self love, we can agree that the effects can often feel quiet magical. The moment we start loving ourselves we feel positive shifts and things start to magically fall into place.

This month of February as many are trying to look for a partner I urge you to look inside yourselves and start with you.
Self-love will heal you, empower you, restore you and open up new worlds within you. Self-love is the key to your mental, spiritual and emotional health.

THANKSGIVING 2020

Today is a good day. This is how I start my days. Today I will excite you with thanksgiving. This year has been tough for most people, families have lost loved ones, friends have lost friends, some relationships have been broken, am here today to look for the good in 2020. To be grateful for the year putting aside what I’ve lost. In my opinion 2020 has been my year of awareness and growth. My hands are always itching to put something out there. To have my thoughts published.

In the first place, my year started on a normal note like any other years that have come along, though I would have celebrated it better. I was in a good place with the universe but battling with a few inside I wasn’t ready to be independent. I let a part of me be controlled. I wasn’t sure about what I want to do but I knew I wanted scream my lungs out, I wanted to look up and see the stars, to smell the fresh air at mid night. I wanted to do something, anything. Alas! I was in bed having conversations in my head I never wanted to have.

I was always confide in a situation ship and wasn’t comfortable enough to do anything at my free will because of pity. But why? I don’t even recall days after that in January, until one fateful day when I received a phone call, followed by a text that was turning a left corner in my life. I’ve read enough books to know that every left corner always pick a positive aspect depending on how you respond and that’s is exactly what happened. I will not go into details with that chapter but if I may conclude, what I can tell you is my world changed in a blink of an eye. I had difficult conversations with people I really loved. My heart shunted, I had sleepless nights I had to start re-write my story. When 2019 was ending I told most of my friends all they needed was courage in 2020 to get through anything. I had to walk the talk. I put myself together and packed my bags and started my journey, to be honest with you I didn’t know where I was heading but all I can tell you is I was looking for inner peace and a new beginning.

I recall January being rough, difficult nights but this time the pain was diminishing because I was determined to move, work harder, spend time with my family became priority. I set goals I wanted to achieve this year and believe you me, I accomplished things this year than I have ever accomplished in any year of my life. Kevin Hart in his first chapter of I can’t make this up he states, “some situations rise from rags to riches”. You cannot control the events that happen to you but how do you react to them? How do you rise from the pieces that have been shuttered? How do you become a better person? How do you learn to love your solitude? All these questions wondered in my head, what I was very sure of was I had a job to keep me destructed but sometimes it’s not enough when the life style has to change.

Secondly, February comes along, the only highlight I had was my sister who came to visit and we had really good conversations and boom March here we are with the pandemic, I was shaken off the ground to be honest, not only was I scared of the apocalypse but also to the fact that my destructions were blocked, during the lock down I had so much time on my hands,a lot of uncertainty in my mind, what was very astonishing to me was that people were entertaining themselves with tiktok, baking, dancing videos, house party videos, I hardly got myself up to do any of that, I was in total depression because I felt like I had lost everything apart from my family.

After a week or two I decided to leave my bed and start writing down my emotions, slowly by slowly I opened up a writing blog at wordpress.com, joined writing challenges from ugbloccommunity in Uganda and my spirit was lifted instantly. I got to interact with so many writers across Africa and the level at which these ladies and gentlemen where able to articulate themselves and the ideas they put across I was flabbergasted each day while I perused through Twitter. There is an outstanding gentleman called Benjamin Watch Musanjufu, he was so helpful and took time to read our stories and reposted them, I had found my first family. I joined twitter just to publish my work and read very inspiring stories from my village. I went further and participated in the African bloggers, it was life changing. At this point I felt I had found part of my calling, I enjoy writing, I went ahead and started reading books too, as I type this now I have read 14 books ever since May 2020. It’s always said that a room without books is like a body without a soul. This is exactly how I feel whenever I take long without reading or writing.

Thirdly, In June I discovered most books talked about meditation and manifestation as one of the aspects authors used every day. I was skeptical about meditation because I didn’t trust my concentration skills. Silence is essential. We need silence, just as much as we need air, just as much as plants need light. If our minds are crowded with words and thoughts, there is no space for us. With time I decided to try guided meditations, I discovered affirmations, how do you talk to yourself daily? most authors asked. I learnt to be kind, gentle to myself, I went to you tube and got affirmations and ever since June I’ve been reciting them. Am very pleasant, am self-reliant, am conscious, am happy, I enjoy spending time alone too, to mention but a few. I ignored solitude for a long time not knowing it was something I needed urgently to re-energize. This is most interesting bit about my manifestation, the universe blessed me with gentleman called Master Sri Akarshana (those interested in knowing more about meditation and manifestation his on you-tube Facebook Twitter). He’s global from meditation to manifestation to affirmations so much advice he gives. I’ve given him my ear time on. In addition to that, I stumbled on a video of a random lady who had written a letter to Abraham Lincoln and she manifested everything on that list. I sat down wrote my letter to the universe, I thanked the universe for the great things I have received and believe you me I ticked all boxes on that letter apart from one thing after a few months. Am as am typing am very grateful to the universe. My sister always says the universe unfolds itself as it should. Surely it does. I found something am very passionate about.

Finally after all the reading and writing, manifestation and meditation, I was grilling from ear to ear while ticking items off my list, feeling comfortable in my own body I would say, I went further to ticking off mentorship. For the longest time I wanted to be mentored, I craved guidance. And like I mentioned in the paragraph above, whatever you manifest you receive. It was hard getting into the first mentorship program I had heard of because of the deadline, my mind kept thinking about it, imagine in June being called to join a mentorship program that I applied for after and it was free of charge. Oh my! Everything was falling in place. Mentorship has been one of my greatest achievements this year. It has shaped me in all ways, all corners and forms. The ladies were welcoming, brilliant, their stories were so inspiring, they were all encouraging, they are warm and they never give up on each other. I instantly nnknew I had met my second family. I was a mentee for three months and graduated in August. With so much excitement, incorruptible speaking I was forced to enroll as a mentor because I wanted to give back to the community, I wanted to uplift other ladies in our country and all we need is someone to give us a listening ear. All the topics were amazing from building trust, I had lost this and sometimes I feel like its always testing me, furthermore we discussed fear,we all have fears but sometimes you have to do it afraid. Whatever you’re going through or scared of, do it afraid.

We went further and discussed courageous leadership with Nancy Cohen a lecturer at Harvard the Kennedy school of business. She talked about three aspects finding your mission, investing in your gathering years and choosing your village wisely. I was really impressed with this session. We went further and discussed the art of communication with Timothy McCarthy where he gave us simple aspects of communication, be clear, know your value and audience, be persuasive and lastly be inspiring. Last week we discussed negotiations skills, the lady emphasized the three aspects;

YOU, Y-Yourself- you’re a very important person in your life. What do you want to do, what are your goals, values, interests? Then the O-others while you advocate for yourself don’t forget others, how are you benefiting the other person, and the U- understanding, do you understand both yourself and the other person, the strengths and weaknesses. We are still going on with more two sessions.

Through mentorship I met a special lady called Diana Kabanyoza my co-mentor, she works with DFCU bank, she is a brilliant lady, warm at heart, loving and caring soul. She held my hand during my first phases of mentoring because I was scared. She introduced me to her foundation called the Howard foundation. The latter is in memory of her late husband, the organization lifts ladies with challenges with businesses, legal, emotional and physical support. Am glad to have found my third family, the ladies are so encouraged and they are working towards being better because they know better.

As the year went on I was temporarily deployed in Komamboga as a data entrant officer, at the beginning I didn’t take this well but at the end of the day I got the best out of it, everyone was amazing I enjoyed the peace and quiet. I managed to move small ladders up and am thankful they saw the leadership potential in me. I loved the place.

I would like to take this time and opportunity to thank all my families and villages and it’s because of you I gotten through this year with the many corners I’ve turned. The right corners have been great and the left corners have left me stronger, am more aware of my surrounding emotions, am little wiser, am setting boundaries every day, am giving more, am silent when need be, am a family person, am inquisitive in books, am a good person, am lovable, am writing more, am making more rights than lefts, amazing generally just to mention but a few.

Despite the lows of 2020 it’s been my year of growth. I was watching yesterday the series called #blackAF and Tyler Perry quoted someone who once said “you will use up everything you have trying to give everyone what they want and that’s one thing I’ve concurred this 2020. Am very thankful for the latter because it has made me a billionaire in the making. There’s always so much to say or quote but I will end here.

MENTORSHIP ADVENTURES

Good morning to my silent readers, hope this finds you well.

For a while now, I’ve been with the G4G mentorship program under the glow getters cohort. As a mentee I really enjoyed my time through the program and the topics. The mentors really cared for us and gave us a listening ear that is Grace Kokwesiga and Busingye Christine Dona under the support squad. I really appreciate these ladies besides the training they have been there for me emotionally.

I can give you an example when I was really going through a friendship breakup. I called Grace and she really gave me good advice, something I had never thought would work, I got peace of mind. Secondly when I had a challenge with where to invest my money I called unto Tina and she was quick to listen and we laid down all possibilities and I got away with the best option, am thankful and grateful.

I graduated in August as a Mentee and currently am a mentor with Diana Kabanyonza with the beautiful soul sisters. One of the mentees suggested this name because she wanted us to keep unity, more of a sisterhood. Am amazing by the sessions from building trust to courageous leadership and art of communication. Am in a conflicting loyalty with choosing the best, I’ve enjoyed all sessions and I’ve greatly learnt from all the guest speakers, mentors and mentees as a whole.

The first session was about building trust, I was so nervous to mentor because I didn’t know how to express myself to the new ladies, could they believe in what I had to say, did I even have anything to say ? But I decided to just go with the flow. Diana was really helpful to lead the session in the soul sisters. I learnt to speak about my fears, both mentees and mentors have the fears, mostly we had fear of failure in my soul sisters, most ladies are introverts so there’s fear of expression and judgment. I encouraged the ladies to express themselves more, if you can first rehearse what you have to say, I say DO IT AFRAID, don’t loose yourself in the process of discovery. I set goals and execute. I got a village I was always looking for. I was inspired by all the mentees and mentors stories.

The courageous leadership, hmmm!!!!! I’ve literally just realized as am typing that this was the spark of the sessions as Nancy Coehn gave us three lessons that I went home with and placed at work. Find your mission, am always confused about my mission, today I feel like I want to volunteer, other times a therapist, a human resource manager, I want to start an NGO. Nancy encourages us not to give up, navigate from point to point, all answers are not found on the phone, talk to people around you, you will surely learn something, there some questions you have to ask yourself that will help you navigate. What needs to be changed in your environment? What changes do you want? What do you want to get involved in? That’s how you find your mission. Investing in your gathering years wow! Wow! Wow! Ladies and gentlemen this is very crucial part of our lives, get as much knowledge as you can, read books, do research, all good things take time and mistakes are human. Nancy Coehn tells us that these are years we don’t tick stuff off our bucket lists but years you’re looking at your leaders and learning, listen to stories of those around you, all those that inspire you, and lastly choose your village very wisely. Leaders are not born but made. People you surround yourself with have a great impact on your growth process. We usually use the term THE VILLAGE, these are people who will always have your back in all corners of life even in moments of doubt they have to keep cheering you on. These people have positive energy. They tell us keeping your friends close and your enemies closer, enemies teach you emotional skills, always take the high road.

The art of communication, I learnt this from G4G, I was poor at communication and I didn’t know what entails in the art of communication. Timothy McCarthy tells us communicators must be clear (find your language that’s easy for your audience), be very persuasive and be inspiring. The skills of communication are know your audience, what are their dreams, what inspires them, how can you get to each and every one of them. Know your values (why are you the way you are) values come from our struggles.My highlight in this session was the bowl technique which I spread around like the gospel truth. There are always two options in life the critical option we can never come back from, that’s the glass bowl and the flexible option that’s the plastic bowl. Always weigh the most important task of the day and handle it first. The flexible option will always be there.

The changes I’ve made in my life in the process of the mentorship.

1.I’ve managed to create my trusted village. People in my corner.

2. I’ve developed leadership skills that’s with my work express.

3. I’ve become a good reader of books.

4. I’ve learnt to listen to people’s stories and acquire knowledge.

5. Am genuinely inspired by the others.

6. Am always getting Margaret back in moments of doubt.

7. Am celebrating small wins.

8. Am taking one step at a time.

9. Am getting to know myself.

10. Always using the bowl technique.

11. I started volunteering at Howard foundation an organization started by my co-mentor.

12. Am enjoying every bit of writing.

This is to mention but a few.

The 30 day challenge by Marc Reklau, is an amazing read and gosh! I have so many lessons I have learnt from this books, great news is chapters are so brief but very juicy with unforgettable advise. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, take responsibility for your actions, celebrate small wins, get organized, stop making excuses, re-write your story, am loving this one because am doing this everyday. choices and decisions, know your top 4 values, watch your words, manage your time, write down your goals and achieve them, know your strengths, say no and yes to yourself, start saving, let go of the past, clean out your cupboard, let go of the past, there are so many lessons am currently on chapter 55. I argue everyone to kindly read this book. Its life changing in terms of awareness. These are small things that we know but actually ignore.

Am looking forward to more mentoring sessions.

DECEMBER 2020

Today feels different

The air smells new and different.

My level of vibration is so high.

Am desperate to share this happiness

its like discovering a secret to life

Am so bright today.

My soul is screaming with unbeatable enthusiasm

my body is experiencing all sorts of energies

I wish I would bottle up this feeling forever

am at the start of a beautiful journey

my heart is full

my soul is lit

all possibilities are here and now

its time to take advantage of them

Growth is my middle name

gratitude & affirmation are my morning prayer

meditation and manifestation are my daily boasters.

Reading books is satisfactory to my soul.

There’s always a mystery to knowledge

SESSIONED

Goodbye is the saddest word,so we are told, this feeling is very familiar and I feel a punch in my stomach coming all the way from my heart. The only difference is this time I had courage to walk away without a tear and tell myself everything is going to be okay. Does anything get easier with emotions when a chapter is closed?

Deployment was never the easiest thing to handle, I was disappointed, scared and I literally shade a tear having to move to a different department on a new project leaving all the familiarity behind. I literally didn’t know how to start over but the most ironic thing was that I was literally starting over in my life and I didn’t know if I was handling everything well or if I was doing okay in the first place.

I had a pending ticket on my first day. I easily adapt to situations and I had some familiar faces to hold me solid so I could not collapse. Each day was full of targets and pressure but at the same time we had lots of music and laughter. This was all new in a work place. Music? Wow!! I enjoy group music. Eating at any hour of the day was soothing. Every day I grilled from ear to ear and I appreciate all those that tried to keep my spirit lifted.

Yesterday was my last day and I literally sat down I looked at each person I’ve worked with on this project and I was tickled at how I was going to miss them and am grateful to everyone on he project whose friendship I’ve gained from, those that really helped me in my startup. I have learnt a lesson or two from these beautiful souls and some have really been confusing and that is okay. Life comes with all sorts of people and we embrace it. It’s society.

Did I mention I was a supervisor on this project and like we say in G4G “do it afraid” I didn’t know where to start from its hard to supervise grownups because everyone wants to show they are mature and gat this but in actual sense they are the worst at following routine. It was hard having to hear some people drop weird comments when told to do something but then one evening a friend called me and told me he loved my leadership skills and there I was training young ladies on how to be courageous leaders, finding your mission, investing in your gathering years and lastly choosing your village very carefully in my mentorship program.

I have literally been living on the principles of G4G to survive and am hoping to keep reading, learning and growing. As I go back to my station am grateful for all the souls I encountered in Komamboga.

The little things,

The little thoughts of waking up and his on your mind,

The little calls we make in the morning asking if we slept alright,

The little Hi-z he says to me when he gets to work with the most friendly expression as he walks back,

The little packages that include sweets he brings most mornings at work,

The little strolls am starting to enjoy that I will soon get used to,

The little screams and ice cream on the street was fun today

The little warm conversations that turn into laughter,

The little texts in between the day make me feel whole,

The little phone calls I make after work to see if his home,

The little phone calls at night that take hours and hours and turn into beautiful augments I end up learning a lot from that,

The little jewelleries I make him buy for me just to look incredible the next morning,

The little presents I’ve received specifically to keep me warm on those days,

The little pieces of the days that I will always remember,

The little thoughts about him before I close my eyes matter,

The little things that matter,

The little possibilities are endless,

CHERISED

I decide every moment that passes that your of great value and after paying attention to the audio i requested, am definitely planning to be mindful for the rest of the weeks. Sometimes am tongue-tied but today instead of sending you an audio like you asked I decided to do better. Am told when you know better do better.

Am astonished at the way you speak to my heart, body and mind. My heart is always welcoming your warmth, my body is always tickled by your affection and my mind is always blown away by our conversations and the three are always inquisitive for you and waiting to be fed. Your like a gift sent by the universe.

I always imagined someone like you but that happens to be in my dreams. Every romantic or non romantic thing that comes out of your mouth has ever been thought of by my crazy mind.

I don’t know what this feeling is truly but it’s a beautiful one. I don’t know if its love or infatuation. Those two maybe overrated but all I know whatever feeling I’ve experienced for the past weeks whether it blooms friendship or love am enjoying every sip am taking, it’s like that morning coffee i crave to start my day. Your a soul I spotted from far and with the humbleness and silence I wanted to get to know every bit of you and at the same time I didn’t because I never wanted to kill the mystery of it all and I was scared of it’s potential.

The side smile that tries to birth a dimple from a distance smelts my heart. Am amazed at the enthusiasm you portray when speaking about your passions and life journey.

“I have seen the new moon, but not you. I have seen sunsets and sunrises, but nothing of your beautiful face. The pieces of my broken heart are so small that they can be passed through the eye of a needle. I miss you like the sun misses the flower; like the sun misses the flower in the depths of winter.” Every time am away from you.

You may have your flaws but your pure at heart when in love. The vulnerability is the cutest of them all. The clinginess is like for my 5 year old nephew when he sees his mother each time. You’re like a love song I play non- stop on a road trip as I smell the air and watch trees pass by.

You have a confidence in your voice that you can easily get whatever you crave from this world and I think you should use this too, It will take you places. The determination you have when working, the softness you portray when you care about someone, the candidness when being a true friend. The grip you have when holding someone not to let them go. The persistent you portray when you badly want your point to be taken seriously. The zeal of being a better person and working towards becoming a successful man. The adventurous side when talking about exploring the world. The laughter when happy. The open mindedness when someone unveils their minds to you. The augments you pick up because you want to listen to someone’s point of you is so fascinating. You have a beautiful brain, I would love to live in it for a while and explore parts I’ve never been before. I could literally have a conversation with it forever.

You’ve taught me to love without hesitation and fear. I’ve learnt that being vulnerable around someone you love is okay too. You constantly remind me how great I am as a person. You’ve taught me that nobody is perfect, nobody is correct all the time and in the end affection is greater than perfection.

Your precious.

Till tomorrow.

Clueless.

This is a piece to a friend Where do I start from I have no idea.

Do I call you a friend? Friendship is overrated. That’s a disclaimer by the way. Do you pass for a colleague? Let’s go with friend, It’s been 11 months and procrastination has taken the best of me. I’ve been searching for topics to write to you about, there so many but which ones will feel right, work? Family? Growth? Love? Friends? Spiritual growth? Counselling? Mentorship? Books? not to mention but a few, I don’t want to over step.

Let me start with telling you about the my few times I’ve seen you around the premises . The first time I glanced at you was at head office you were walking hastily as usual, you looked different from the usual crowd so I asked the nearest person next to me who you were and hmmmm!!! I was enlightened. And to be honest I was impressed too. (This is the point a describe you vividly but this will be for another day). I keep seeing you around with the marketing team which by general knowledge I know what the team does but in Bank of Africa I’ve never asked exactly what you guys do.

I barely know you but I had a feeling you grew up in jinja (I may be mistaken I don’t know) just took a lucky guess and hey!!!! haha there so many Coloureds there. (I hope your not offended) at least you have a hair texture I would love to have. But anyways that’s not important. You have a gorgeous family which is wonderful, good job, I don’t know what your into or what inspires you, or what you would love to have done if your not in the bank. Or what your beliefs are?

I have so many questions for you when am next to you and when your not around it disappears into think air that’s the only reason why I’ve taken long to write this. But I would love to know parts of you that you allow your friends to see.

The only thing I can say I’ve noticed about you is you love spending time with your family. You love football too. I don’t want to assume about other hobbies. I would love to know your story. What makes you tick? What gets you out of bed in the morning? What do you do for fun? Best meal? Do you love Tv? Do you drink beer? Silly questions humans ask.

Isn’t it fascinating to write to a random person? There so many gaps to fill. It’s some sort of intimate situation you can comprehend. Your trying to study them or read their mind and am coming up with nothing. Every time I read a book every page I fold I imagine the author reading to me or talking to me about the book.Sometimes I believe I can give a true story without doing a lot of interactions. It’s fascinating what you find out.

Let me conclude by telling you a few things about me. I love writing obviously even if it’s rubbish, I love scrambling in my notes, this is therapeutic. Unclear or confusing writing is an accessibility to all readers. Love Reading. Love love mediations and manifestations. Love work, anything that puts money on my table to live a good life I take it. Love travelling, I do this alone most times. Love smiling. Am very inquisitive. Am Sapiosexual. Love listening to podcasts. Love solitude. Love nature.

Huh!!!!! What else can a girl add to this piece. I hope you enjoy this silly piece. There’s nothing more I can add unless you have questions.

Yours sincerely

Margaret Nakubulwa.

Until tomorrow.